202098

Joke of the Day

"Your momma's so fat... she's always #1 in agar.io."

"Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang. Your mom put an ad on Craigslist."

"A fool proof way to never feel lonely. If you're ever feeling lonely, watch a horror movie. You won't feel alone anymore."

"*takes selfie, sends to wife* Wife: ""No."" *takes pants off* *tries on another pair in The Gap change room* *takes selfie, sends to wife*"

"How does a feminist screw in a light bulb? She doesn't, she just holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her."

"[NSFW] I think I might be gay... ...Every time I touch my dick I get hard"

"God making man in his image was the original selfie"

"I love being alive but my favorite thing to do is sleep."

"Congratulation on the new baby, from your family... except from me because I don't really care."

"Three men walked into a bar Thought one of em had seen it."