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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] I think I might be gay... ...Every time I touch my dick I get hard"

"Look... don't end your presentation with ""Are there any questions?"" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle."

"I asked the guy from 127 Hours for help with my homework. He said, ""I would give you a hand, but I'm stumped."" I'll show myself out."

"How do trees use the Internet? They log on"

"$1,000 worth of products were stolen from a Games Workshop today Police are looking for a book and three pots of paint."

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I'm going home now."

"Did you hear about the Piano Teacher that slept with his student? She was A Minor."

"A Mexican magician says to the audience: ""For my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos..."" *POOF*. And he disappeared without a tres."

"What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)"

"It's so quiet in our office you can actually hear the dreams fizzling out."