201950

Joke of the Day

"My wife walked out on me after I blew our life savings on a penis extension. She said she just couldn't take it any longer."

"What do you call an overweight ET ? An extra cholesterol !"

"Subway Did you use to work at subway, because you just gave me a foot-long."

"Give that Man a Fish I once taught a man to fish. He ended up offing himself because he couldn't get into a good fishing college."

"When I do laundry I tell people I'm going to 1943 Cause I got to separate the whites and colors"

"What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus? ""Allahu Akbar!"" I'm going to hell for this."

"Its such a shame todays world is so politically correct, you cant even say Black Paint anymore, Instead you have to say ""Leeroy please paint the porch"""

"A Polar Bear walks into a cafe He says, ""I'll have a burger and.... a coke."" The waitress says, ""Okay. But, why the long pause?"" The bear says, ""I don't know. I was born with them."""

"Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now."

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? No one knows, he hasn't opened his presents yet."