145568

Joke of the Day

"Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now."

Next Joke
 
"To determine a rabbit's sex from afar, try sneaking up on them and shouting: if he runs, it's a boy. If *she* runs, it's a girl."
"What do my dad and God have in common? I've never seen or heard from either of them."
"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? (Kinda dark) One's fun to smash with a hammer, the other is a delicious snack."
"God's last name isn't damn. Well technically it's ""Jean God Van Damn"""
"Your mum is so fat that when she entered an ugly contest they said, ""sorry mam, but no professionals."""
"OK THERE. DID I PASS YOUR STUPID SOBRIETY TEST YET? Cop: Sir, you're still laying on the ground where you fell down."
"What's black and doesn't work? A broken TV.............. racist."
"What do vegan white nationalists chant at rallies? Sieg-Kale, Sieg-Kale!"
"I wish I was important enough for my nudes to get leaked."