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Joke of the Day
"Subway Did you use to work at subway, because you just gave me a foot-long."
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"If a chick tells you she's ""not like other girls"" she just proved she's exactly like all other girls."
"What does a self-conscious vampire say? ""I'm going to suck.."""
"A guy I work with farted on the elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."
"I once had an altercation with a dealer in Vegas. He really had a chip on his shoulder."
"the first guy to ride a horse was all like GIDDYUP HORSEY and the horse was all like DAMMIT WHO TOLD HIM THAT MAKES US GO"
"What's the worst part about being a pedophile? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."
"I told my dog to bark. He said, ""howwwl loud."""
"I woke up hungover but couldn't make myself throw up. So I guess I have a lotta shit to deal with today."
"Why do Scotsmen wear kilts. Cause a sheep can hear a zipper a mile away."