201825

Joke of the Day

"What is the type of conference that brings together knights and mathematicians? A *sir-conference*"

"I'm sorry I threw up all over your carpet when you referred to your spouse as your ""lover""."

"What's a feminists favorite music festival? Burning Man."

"[twirling my bra above my head like a helicopter and it gets stuck on the ceiling fan, im launched thru window into neighbors yard] me: hey"

"Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok"

"To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ..."

"I had the best ice cube It's like it could melt in my mouth"

"I ate 4 lunch ladies before someone explained that's not what they're for."

"Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature? First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare"

"How do you circumcise a redneck Kick his sister in the chin."