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Joke of the Day

"How do you circumcise a redneck Kick his sister in the chin."

"Love means nothing to a tennis player. That's the joke, thanks for reading!"

"Can you lmb? person 2: what? lace my boots 2: ok I guess I can so you can lmb? 2: yeah I can lmb wait, you want to lick my balls??? wtf"

"Why did the Hawaiian Hipster burn to death? He walked on lava before it was cool."

"To all my Atheist and Agnostic friends. T_IF!"

"Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!"

"Lazy person fact #4523974903 You were too lazy to read that number."

"I'm pretty sure this zombie fad is dead ... But for how long?"

"God: why don't we text anymore? Me: you know why God: I can't just give everyone a Sega whenever they ask. That's not how it works Me: k"

"Fred's new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip."