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Joke of the Day

"Why did Negan watch Arrested Development? Someone told him there were two Lucilles"

"Why did god give Marines one more IQ point than he gave to horses. So they won't shit during parades."

"I only have room in my brain to care about three people and six types of cheese at any time."

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"The nice thing about getting a pet lobster is that you can always threaten to eat it when your kid stops taking care of it."

"Now I'm not saying you're old... but if you were milk I'd smell you before pouring you on my cereal."

"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and a gluestick? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"Why are there trees in Harlem? Public Transport"

"Church basketball What do you call a group of nuns who's into basketball? Slam NUNk Who's their MVP? Stephen Mary"

"Relationship advice on /r/relationships User: So my boyfriend and I... Adviser: Dump him."