148270

Joke of the Day

"Now I'm not saying you're old... but if you were milk I'd smell you before pouring you on my cereal."

"Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked."

"New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar."

"And for my next trick I'll be pulling the rug from under your feet ~Life"

"Oedipus apartment complex Attractive like your mom"

"Just got a residual check for 6 dollars for my scene in Almost Famous sooo...going to Vegas!!!!!!!!"

"I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill."

"I from korea Hi"

"What do you call a chubby girl who's cranky, has bad breath and doesn't screw? You don't call her."

"I call bs on the Ninja Turtles having those ripped abs. No way you could do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me Ive tried."