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Joke of the Day

"What lives in a tree and is dangerous? A crow with a machine gun."

"What type of car explodes? A Talivan."

"The grammar teacher said ""In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative."" A student replied... ""Yeah, right!"""

"Women just want to make us better men, not drain our life essence. And sharks are just trying to kiss us but their teeth get in the way."

"World: Hey check out this sport we made called football. America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football."

"What's the difference between the 7 dwarfs and a girl's high school track team? The 7 dwarfs are a bunch of cunning runts..."

"Why did the skull win 1st place in the race? Because he ran ahead."

"Birds that land and then WALK across the street... what the hell is wrong with you?"

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Potato"

"Boy 1: ""How did you get that bruise on your arm?"" Boy 2: ""I ate some Easter candy."" Boy 1: ""Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."" Boy 2: ""It will if it's your big brother's candy!"""