201770

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a virgin on a water bed? A cherry float."

"Hey guys, I think I just got murdered but I'm not sure, and WebMD is like ZERO help."

"Where do really smart birds roost? In a dictonaerie."

"Why did the basketball receive medical attention? He was passed out."

"*walks past German Shepherd and nods* Officer..."

"You know why it's women and children first off of a sinking ship? It's so that the men can have some peace and quiet to figure out a solution."

"Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!"

"Looks like I'm going to need to have the ""drug talk"" with my daughter because this ecstasy she sold me is NOT working."

"If my dad were alive today he would say, ""Mark stop telling people I'm dead"""

"Fun fact: Did you know that HIV is Roman for 'high five'? Pass it on - or, rather, don't."