201726

Joke of the Day

"Superman: Kinda sucks you can't fly. Batman: It's okay. Superman: Why? Batman: My planet hasn't exploded, so I can still walk and drive."

"Did you hear the one about the gay man with a 30 inch scrotum? I would make a joke, but that's some low hanging fruit."

"Why did the dog fail his driving test? Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive."

"How do Russians watch online movies? Nyetflix!"

"*stares at bottel of sleepin pills* when wil they wakE UP"

"FRIEND: Try to relate to her. (Later on Date) ME: *nervously* Can I be your cousin?"

"What kind of orange juice do Jews drink? All kinds, just not concentrated"

"""I hate being half bicycle, half motorcycle"" he moped"

"What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common? Both give you a good chance of catching something"

"My ex wife is like the Mona Lisa I mean, she's not that pretty or anything, but I would be damn near ecstatic if I came home and found her hanging in the living room"