201688

Joke of the Day

"A skinny girl and an overweight girl are standing in line on Friday morning. As the Walmart manager unlocks the door, skinny girl says, ""remember, black Friday lives matter."""

"You know what always brings me down? Gravity."

"I asked my Welsh friend how many times he'd had sex... He started counting then fell asleep."

"Have you heard about the new iPhone Plus? I reckon it's gonna be a huge 6s... Get it ;)"

"Laughed hysterically and said ""Oh yes, please do"" after the pizza shop guy asked if he could put the sauce in my box. I think I scared him."

"What does watching golf and a giant spinning dildo have in common? They both bore the fuck out of you."

"What's the most sensitive part of the body when masturbating? The ears"

"I went to Lowe's to buy a human-sized microwave & the guy loudly said they don't exist & then took me to a back room & they had lots of them"

"What was Hitler favorite TV show? The Amazing Race"

"President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court ""I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!"" said an excited Obama."