201620

Joke of the Day

"My wife was raped by a gang of mimes. They found many ways to get in and out of the box. OR They did unspeakable thing to her."

"Helium Walks into a bar and orders a beer the bartender says sorry we don,t server noble gases here He Doesnt React"

"I wait til the mailman comes to send all my emails in front of him while keeping eye contact and whispering ""Your end is nigh, letter boy."""

"Me: You should really try this lip gloss Her: this is super glue Me: HEAR ME OUT"

"What is a baby's dream job? Working at a winery."

"If a murderous killing machine came back from the future.. And calculated all matrices. Would he be the Determinator?"

"Can prisoners ask for The Olive Garden's Endless Pasta for their last meal? If so, I think I just found a loophole in our judicial system."

"I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons."

"Son: can I get lunch money Dad: I have a boyfriend"

"What do you call a woman that is beautiful and smart? An actress."