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Joke of the Day

"Helium Walks into a bar and orders a beer the bartender says sorry we don,t server noble gases here He Doesnt React"

"As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, ""Can you give me a minute?"" ""Why? Want to freshen up?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."""

"I graduated with a 2:2 in Sports Journalism It would have been a 2:1 but they equalised at the last minute."

"Thor gets drunk, blacks out and wakes up next to a man. Confused, he looks at the man and says, ""I AM THOR."" And they guy says, ""You think you're thore, my ath is killing me."""

"You're a dog person? *Throws a stick* Well? Aren't you going to run after it or are you cool with being a normal human that's also a liar?"

"I tried to catch fog yesterday Mist"

"There are 10 types of people Those who understand hexadecimal.. And F the rest."

"[mysterious old lady flips tarot card revealing a dude who looks exactly like me flying a hot air balloon into power lines] Me: is that good"

"What do you call a prison inmate with a skin disease? A Leper-Con"

"I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me."