201414

Joke of the Day

"I almost confused a laxative and Ibuprofen and that would have changed my plans for the evening significantly"

"What does a baby computer call its father? Data"

"Confucius say virginity like giant bubble One prick, all gone"

"If Reddit users were Military Weapons... They would be Attention-Seeking Missles."

"Bouncy balls are super fun if you love to play with something very briefly, then spend 45 minutes looking for it in a shrub."

"I can totally relate to the plight of the homeless. I once gave up Twitter for five whole days."

"Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food? It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity"

"The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now."

"My dog lost his tail So I took him to the retail store to get another one."

"My wife said she wanted a divorce for Christmas. I told her I did not want to spend that much."