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Joke of the Day

"If Reddit users were Military Weapons... They would be Attention-Seeking Missles."

"I haven't been able to look at cereal since the time I walked in on my parents having Chex."

"What idiot coined the term ex-fiance Instead of near-Mrs Edit: ex fiancee. I'm not as smart as I thought I was.."

"People in the UK eat more bananas than monkeys. In 2014 they ate 73,432,384 bananas and only 6 monkeys."

"What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll."

"How do you keep a moron in suspense for 24 hours? I'll post the answer tomorrow."

"Want to hear the one about my penis..? You wouldn't get it... It's too long."

"Just watched some Midget Wrestling. It was a short fight."

"What's the opposite of effort? F it."

"Dude the goverment isn't spying on you. You're not interesting *meanwhile in a secret base* ""dont let him say that to you. You're amazing"""