201407

Joke of the Day

"Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday."

"I remember a time when I was much younger and had an infinite supply of drugs and booze. Then some c**ksucker cut the umbilical cord."

"Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period."

"I voted for Jill Stein Finally I'm part of the 1%"

"I like to listen to Anu Malik's music while I study because he is a constant reminder on why it's important to get educated."

"You know times are tough when you are totally jealous of your friends shopping spree... at the dollar store!"

"Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide"

"Q: What did the blonde's dentist find? A: Teeth in the cavity."

"Why did the baker have stinky hands? He kneaded a poo"

"Men and hookers Why do men always pick the hooker that costs tens of thousands of dollars over the far sexier hooker which costs two dollars? Because prostitution is looked down upon."