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Joke of the Day

"I voted for Jill Stein Finally I'm part of the 1%"

"Ever heard the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog."

"1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank."

"Why are there so many fish in the sea? They're always getting hooked up"

"Why Hitler died? Because he saw the gas facture."

"DATE: Ooh, such long fingers ME: Yeah, know what other long body part I have? D: I have an idea *sexy wink* M: My intestines are about 30ft"

"Yo momma's pussay is like the white house: No bush, and there's a black guy in there now."

"Time for a joke. ""Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"" ""Well, why don't you ask your sister?"" ""But I don't have a..."""

"She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel."

"Dark Humor is like food... Not everybody gets it."