201404

Joke of the Day

"*Jesus emerges from tomb* Wow was that 3 days? Holy cow. I was marathoning The Wire. You guys seen this?"

"It's so cold outside that the hookers downtown are charging 20 to blow your hands"

"*Party dog shows up at funeral* *He barks, the corpse turns into a keg* *Everyone runs out screaming except Uncle Steve, who likes to party*"

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and Bill Clinton? Ivanka didn't keep the dress"

"To everybody whose birthday is today. I am sorry that your birthday was not yesterday, otherwise you would have had a puny birthday."

"What did the Jew say when he evaded the Nazi officers? Auschwitz! That was close!"

"This Is A Dirty Joke A white horse fell in the mud"

"Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky."

"I read my daughter a book about a Frogapotamus last night and dreamt of riding one. Tonight I'm reading her Hugh Jackman's autobiography."

"If I had a nickel for every gender... I'd have ten cents and a dead meme"