201336

Joke of the Day

"What has two arms,two legs and eats ants? Uncles"

"I've never seen 'Downton Abbey', but I did see the episode of 'Roseanne' when Becky ""cut the cheese"" at least 50 times."

"Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way."

"""God"" not mentioned in Democratic platform means they don't worship God. ""Money"" mentioned eleven times in Republican platform."

"OK, Gravity wasn't very realistic. First of all, and I checked this, Sandra Bullock -- not an astronaut"

"I met Jesus once but he was kind of a dick He was all ""holier-than-thou"""

"Want to hear a joke about Potassium? K."

"[breakfast table] Me: Who killed the entire box of Lucky Charms? 8: Not me 9: Not me CEREAL KILLER: Not me either"

"What does an elephant say, looking at a naked man ? You can't breathe from it"

"Pokemon Go has really improved my life... I used to always get in trouble for playing with my balls outside."