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Joke of the Day

"Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way."

"I can't let my girlfriend leave me I'd lose a hand"

"A shampoo manufacturer had an accident. ..he suffered injuries to his head and shoulders."

"I have bathed in the blood of virgins! I had a nosebleed in the shower."

"Judge:""Since we can't prove who's baby it is we will ... cut the baby in half Worm Mom 1:""Sure Worm Mom 2 :""Ya do it."

"we have ways of making you talk mr bond [introduces dave] this is dave, he's a vegan ""OK ENOUGH"""

"Why did the power go out when Optimus Prime got his first blow job? Someone blew a transformer."

"Jesus died for our sins. But then he came back to life. Pretty sure that breaks the deal."

"This Brazil v. Germany World Cup Game."

"Life without geometry... is pointless"