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Joke of the Day

"What's the husband's equivalent of a wife counting the days since her last period? A husband counting the days since he last had sex."

"Why is Donald Trump gay? The Chinese beemhole been trippin hardcore nomsayin'?"

"Why did Renault name a car ""Le Car""? So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work."

"What's the difference between fight club and veganism? You don't talk about fight club."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent."

"ME: snakes are mean TEACHER: right ME: but it's not their fault. They have 2 ends & no legs TEACHER: ok ME: so the ends justify the mean"

"I haven't swam competitively since I was a sperm."

"I'm giving away my dead batteries. They're free of charge."

"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."

"There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree murders, but why are there no 90th degree murders? Because murder is not right"