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Joke of the Day

"When I integrate I don't add the constant I guess I have my limits"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger PC upgrade Few years ago someone asked Arnold Schwarzenegger to upgrade his PC to windows 7. He said I still love vista, baby"

"I remember my first crush..: Orange."

"Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential."

"Chicken pot pie Three of my favorite things."

"My father told me a joke. How many Germans does it take screw in a lightbulb? He said Nein My dads jokes are the wurst I tell you."

"The only time I've ever been a priority is when I paid extra for shipping."

"Kind of morbid (sorry) (From my uncles) Him: Have you ever fucked a dog as long as you wanted? Me: NO! Him: Why'd you stop?"

"Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself."

"My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night. She nearly took my fucking eye out."