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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an owl with no forehead? I sucked too many dongs last night to remember"

"How do you make a venetian blind? Poke his eyes out Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD"

"Mickey Mouse is on trial for the murder of Minnie Mouse The judge asks to clarify, ""The report here says your motive for killing her is for being too silly?"" ""No your honor, she was fucking Goofy"""

"Its Saddam shame, the situation in the Middle East... ... it's Assad day for us all."

"What's the difference between a $200 vacuum and a $50 vacuum? I don't know, they both suck."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool"

"How can the National Anthem be racist if?. The first words are, "" Jose can you see?"""

"Have manufacturers of picket fences ever gone on strike? Because the irony would be awesome. Take your time, I'll wait."

"If crime doesn't pay... ... than you're doing it wrong."

"If you ever get cold... Just stand in a corner. They're usually around 90 degrees!"