200609

Joke of the Day

"museum guide: america was founded on july 4, 1776 me: [nodding sagely] ah yes so its a Cancer. this explains everythig"

"A man gets into an accident in which both his ring fingers are cut off. Needless to say, his wife was shocked."

"[job int] ""& what are your areas of weakness?"" [leans in so close my nose touches the interviewers] ""I don't like people touching my nose."""

"A cat met her long lost boyfriend after 35 years and says.. Meow meow..."

"Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help."

"LOL there's like 20 guys w/ ""Female Body Inspector"" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO"

"Who did the baker bring to work? His doughter."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who ? Bunny thing is I've forgotten now !kn"

"What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head? I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob."

"The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons."