200574

Joke of the Day

"To show off my ""Downton Abbey etiquette"" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it."

"Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman."

"Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday !"

"Q: What do space aliens put on their windows? A: Venutian blinds."

"Two packets of crisps were walking down the street. A car slows down beside them and asks if they wanted a ride to where they were going. The crisps replied 'no, we're Walkers'"

"How do you circumcise a Hill-Billy? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"Egypt is one of those rare countries whose ""good old days"" were in 2,000 B.C."

"What cheese does a piano princess eat? Mozart-rella!"

"Regretting that I didn't install a GPS locator on the baby, because man this Hooters is a big place."

"I get a new phone every year just so my friends don't think I'm lying when I tell them I've lost their number Avoidance is expensive"