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Joke of the Day

"To show off my ""Downton Abbey etiquette"" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it."

"Couldn't stop farting...so i went to the Doctors I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite"

"With God all things are possible; but with money all things are probable. And with a good accountant, they're all deductible."

"Why is ten afraid of nine? Because nine ate seven! *heh heh*"

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? Nevermind, you won't get it."

"How is a woman like an Electrical Fuse? When they blow, you got no power!!"

"My wife always tells me not to take things personally, so I hired a guy to do it for me. He already stole a bike."

"House Hunters: ""We want a slide, cheeseburgers, a clown."" Realtor: Are you describing McDonalds? ""haha no"" *3 kids tumble out of trenchcoat*"

"What about a reality show where people who complain about homeless people having cellphones have to get a job and an apartment without one."

"Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo!"