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Joke of the Day

"Two packets of crisps were walking down the street. A car slows down beside them and asks if they wanted a ride to where they were going. The crisps replied 'no, we're Walkers'"

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"I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested."
"ME: I think I have a get out of jail free card COP: this is a do 1 jail sentence get the next sentence 50% off & it's for our other location"
"I USED MY WIFE'S VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO AND NOW I CAN'T STOP YELLING!"
"Two Flordia football players have been suspended for Saturday's game vs. Tennessee for refusing to take a urine test... I guess you might say urine or your out."
"Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she's diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then"
"One in every six people on this planet are Chinese. Of my five brothers, I suspect Danny."
"The guy two cubes down wears vests, curls his mustache, and never says a word. I always smile politely because maybe he'll spare my life."
"Show me on this Georgia O'Keeffe painting where the bad man touched you."
"It's a bad idea to eat the meat from the female cows. That would be a Miss Steak."