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Joke of the Day

"So, #Dorners ID was found in San Diego a week ago and then unmelted in the burned down cabin? sounds legit."

"Why does Waldo always wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted."

"You hang up ""No, you hang up"" You hang up first! - Bats going to bed"

"What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet? A Peter Parker"

"what's the difference between a my girlfriend and a voice activated sink? One gets turned on and all wet when I speak to it. The other is a voice activated sink."

"The ""impossible"" EM Drive works, space travel just became more viable. Yet Half Life 3 still unconfirmed."

"My doctor told me I am anorexic Now I have that to deal with on top of being fat"

"I made a company that disguises land mines as prayer mats... Prophets are through the roof"

"You hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a Dog."

"""SURPRISE!!!!"" - Every girl with drawn-on eyebrows."