200485

Joke of the Day

"Man: Why is ur wife shouting at you? Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen"

"Why was Noah such a compelling character? He had a good ark."

"I got 4,627 problems and 697 of them are toothpicks, 884 of them are threads on my pillow, 3,045 are leaves on these trees, and OCD is 1."

"What's a bad way to stop a pedophile? Tell him to think of the children."

"What would you call Osama bin Laden if he became a pirate? Sandy Hook."

"Therapist: Do you have any regrets? Me: Well, this one time Therapist [pinches bridge of nose] Other than buying fat-free salad dressing."

"#BadTimeTravelAdvice Plague, shmlague. 13th century Europe is where it's at!"

"Our family's annual tradition, as I put up the tree, everybody gathers around to watch my wife tell me I'm stringing the lights wrong."

"""Look slightly worried."" - picture advice from The Singer/Songwriter's Handbook"

"Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you."