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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a starving parrot? A polynomial!"

"What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized."

"My wife is scrolling through Netflix to see what shows I watched between now and when she asked me to vacuum. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

"What does a Jewish pedophile say to an 8 year old boy? Hey little boy, want to buy some candy?"

"In the beginning there was nothing......then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said ""Get a job"". That is the story of the universe."

"The England squad have been receiving death threats and this morning they awoke to find a horses head. Fortuneatly, it was only Wayne Rooney asleep."

"Off to work... A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."

"I'm so broke.. .. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account. I was like, ""Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"""

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They don't change it. They just beat the room for being black."