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Joke of the Day

"What does a blind pornstar say when she's surprised? I did not see that cumming...."

"I put the 'toast' in 'toaster'. Then I take the 'toast' out of the 'toaster'."

"Fat girl on a table I went to bar , and there was a fat girl dancing on the tables "" nice legs"" I said "" you think so?"" She replied "" Sure,most tables would have collapsed by now!"""

"What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree? Poll tree!"

"Ever read a book or see a film that touches you so deeply it changes your whole worldview? I just took a shit like that."

"Why cant some one stay straight while playing hide n seek in IKEA?... ...cuz they'll have to come out of the closet at some point."

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere"

"Just found out I've been eating women's energy bars for the past few months. No side effects except making 30% less money than I used to"

"What does Laquisha have for breakfast? Plan B"

"Julius Caesar goes into a bar... ... and asks for a martinus. Puzzled, the bartender asks, ""Do you mean a martini?"" ""No. Just one, please."""