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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Briony ! Briony who ? Briony beautiful sea !"

"I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be."

"Jesus christ, guys! Can we stop arguing about politics for ONE second and change subject to something more lighthearted? So what are your guys' thoughts on abortion?"

"My thoughts and prayers go out to all those with super busy key chains today. With dolls and shit on them, and fistfuls of keys and whatnot."

"72 virgins This was it. The suicide bomber was going to blow up the US camp. Little did he know that when he woke up he would be surrounded by 72 engineering students...."

"Wife leaves keys on counter with a helpful note saying ""keys"" in case I thought they were llamas."

"I just watched a boring documentary on how to build a time machine. That's an hour of my life I'll probably get back."

"A friend told me this one... Why did the cyclops close his school? Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends"

"What do you call a snake on viagra? Rod!"