198915
Joke of the Day
"Why do Americans suck at DOTA2 ? because they are bad at defending towers "
Next Joke
"Spent an extra 7 bucks on gas trying to get it to stop at an even amount"
"yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds."
"How to end an interview: 1. Thank them for their time. 2. Shake their hand firmly. 3. Firmer. 4. Firmer yet. 5. BREAK HIS HAND YOU MUST WIN"
"What kind of suit does a lawyer like best? The Spanish Inquisition."
"Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back."
"What do you call a slutty bean? A Frijole (""free-hole""). Ba-dun-tss"
"The US goverment EDIT: Sorry, I know this isn't fairly original. I promise better next time."
"Did you hear the new Whitney Houston album? It didn't make much of a splash."
"Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building, friendship"