200131

Joke of the Day

"Jokes on jokes Why did the cabbage whistle? Because it saw the salad dressing"

"There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan."

"Did you guys hear the one-liner about the Monorail?"

"What do you call a fat person with hemophilia? Diableedes"

"How many mods does it take to change a lightbulb? [deleted]"

"Can I just drop it like it's lukewarm? It's been a long day and I'm tired."

"When I asked for my wife's hand in marriage, I didn't realize how often I'd just get the finger."

"Dear lady, $14 is crazy for an airport sandwich but complaining to the counter guy is like telling a cop to pull troops out of Afghanistan."

"Q: When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions? A: When he married outside of his family."

"Once I made the mistake of telling Jesus to take the wheel on a Sunday. Once."