215531

Joke of the Day

"Q: When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions? A: When he married outside of his family."

"Thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 15 min before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a squirrel."

"A baby seal walks into a club. buh dum tssss."

"I built a house for a horse today but he said he wouldn't live in it as it didn't look stable enough."

"I like my wings like I like my Caitlyn Jenners. Boneless."

"Self control (sorry if offends you) I stopped a girl getting raped today. I used self-control."

"The first rule of Illiteracy Club is no reading. That was a test, and you failed. You're failing now. You're not welcome in Illiteracy Club."

"I accidentally locked my keys in the car across the street from an abortion clinic... .... I yelled, ""Hey! Anybody got a hanger?"" The protesters chased me for three blocks."

"Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race but then I remember there are grown men who like My Little Pony."

"what do vegan zombies eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaains..."