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Joke of the Day

"Wearing a wig is probably worth the hassle for those moments when you get to dramatically pull it off your weary, tearful head."

"I make breakfast for my new boyfriend. ""How do you like your eggs? I like mine *fertilised*."""

"All my tweets are based on true events that happened in my head."

"Time flies like an arrow.. Fruit flies like a banana."

"North Korean civilians have been playing the Hunger Games since the 1950s."

"Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join Tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with"

"This hasn't helped my bull get any sleep at all. In fact, the closer I get to him with the bulldozer, the more agitated he gets."

"someone stole my chair! deceitful..."

"I too save a bunch of money on car insurance. By not having any."

"They dont just hate him Chris' family doesn't just hate him, they ate him too"