200004

Joke of the Day

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

Next Joke
 
"I like asking girls if I can buy them a drink and when they say yes I yell ""YOU DON'T KNOW MY FINANCIAL SITUATION"" and run away."
"What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A miner."
"GOD: [reviewing solar system] hmm... i'll give it 5 stars EARTH: [imediately starts screamig due to masive gravitational pull of 4 new stars]"
"Relationship status: LOL"
"Car next to me in liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has SEVEN kids. I better get in there quick! She's gonna buy it all."
"The reason I'm so happy today is because I got a penis enlarger... She's 18 years old!"
"Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom."
"Q: What do you call a blind German? A: A Not See (Nazi)"
"It's amazing how eating such a small amount of dog food can cause such a large amount of concern from the people at the pet store."