199905

Joke of the Day

"I'm in a Japanese restaurant. I shit you not. They have a vegetable tempura appetizer called ""Mushroom Cloud."" I'm afraid to order it."

"What do you call a married cougar? A cheetah."

"*appears in puff of smoke at a public pool* ""Warning, what you're about to see may shock you!"" Hey! What are y- *touches live wire to water*"

"I don't want to be racist.... so stop trying to make me to take up competitive running!"

"How do you tell if someone is ticklish? You give them a couple of test-tickles."

"Why is money green? Jews pick it before its ripe."

"In the presidential election, who does the elephant vote for? Donald Trunk."

"Never pretend to be something you're not. Unless you're pretending to be sober, in which case that's probably a good idea. Keep doing that."

"Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind it stinks!"

"Why do mermaids wear seashells for a bra? Because ""B"" shells would be too small!"