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Joke of the Day

"I don't know what to do when someone yells stop Is it hammer time? Is it in the name of love? Do I collaborate and listen?"

"Somebody told me to stop singing ""Wonderwall."" I said maybe"

"Q: Mom why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons? A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment dear."

"My wife says I have a short attention spanish is a beautiful language isn't it?"

"I don't like rape jokes... they always feel forced."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A very soar arse"

"How do you cause a riot at a cat show? Open a can"

"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"

"DATE: I chose this restaurant for the ambience. ME: Ah, very good. [to waiter] A bottle of your finest Ambiens, please."

"Today my family is celebrating my dad's 100 days w/o alcohol he is in a coma"