199840

Joke of the Day

"18 is TOO young to get married! You can't even buy booze at 18! If you can't buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?"

"What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck? KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled? Because they have a claus in their contract."

"Helium Factory It looks like the negotiations at the helium factory were falling apart....everything was up in the air."

"For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake."

"Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava but only once"

"What did the astronaut say to the other when he pressed the wrong button? I apollo-gize."

"Word meanings: Slut: A prostitute that doesn't charge. Prostitute: A clever slut!"

"Worst things the parents do in Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"

"How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem? Simple! He just worked it out with a pencil!"