199840

Joke of the Day

"18 is TOO young to get married! You can't even buy booze at 18! If you can't buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?"

"Daughter: I will never learn to spell. Mother: Why? Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words."

"Q: Why did the little refrigerator salute the big refrigerator? A: Because he was General Electric."

"What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza? Skinning the vegan."

"Very sad to hear about Donald Trump. Nothing happened to him I'm just sad to hear about him"

"I need to stop asking strangers if they're ticklish, and just start tickling them."

"I just did yoga. No wait, yogurt."

"I just saw a guy with no legs. I told him all about my recent stubbed toe. I hope it made him feel better about the whole no legs thing."

"(in a rowboat with 6 starving people) ""I think you mean ""WHOM should we eat first"""

"A Woman's tongue & Man's eye, will rest' only when they die."