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Joke of the Day

"I feel like putting on a shirt with a huge dot and going trick or treating the day after Halloween to scare people. Cause then I'd be a late period."

"Q :Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy? A :I dont know, and i dont care"

"[interview] Ok, don't let them know you're naked ""Why are you naked?"" dammit"

"What Did One Eye Say To Another Eye? Don't Look Now But Something Between Us Smells"

"How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but it takes the entire emergency room to remove it."

"Why aren't their Mexican Olympics? Because all of the Mexicans that can run,jump,and swim are in America!"

"I'm glad I'm not invited to Joan Rivers' funeral. She might be cremated and I hate the smell of burning plastic. Too soon?"

"Learned from my 2yr old tonight that Jesus doesn't like bananas. No word on cauliflower yet but pretty sure he's not a fan."

"How did the Mathematician cure his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint."