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Joke of the Day

"A small bird flew right onto the side of my butt while I was running today I was wrong, there are chicks out there that find me to be their type."

"People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it."

"Why did 8 break up with 7? Because 7 always came first!!!"

"Women are like boats I'd rather pay for the occasional ride than go through the hassle of having my own."

"Bernie Sanders is finally deciding to cut the BS He will now go by: Ernie Anders."

"Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizzas dont scream when you put them in the oven..."

"I just saw Ex Machina... I thought it was supposed to be about AI, and not just about women."

"I'm all out of damns to give, and only have a few flying f*cks left... but I'm saving those for a special occasion."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of it's paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"I'm running away to join the internet."