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Joke of the Day

"If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms."

"Why was the little bear so spoiled ? Because its mother panda'd to its every whim !"

"What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"On April 16, 2017, a small French city will detach from the surface of the Earth and fly into space, killing everyone. It's just Toulouse."

"I'd read books on my iPad but it has movies and those work better with my stupid."

"Can February March? No. But April May. yep."

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he's married."

"it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head."

"I hate being ""backwards guy"" when moving funiture. I could get hurt."

"Will Will Smith smith? Will Smith will smith."