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Joke of the Day

"I just bought my wife some new eyes, a new nose and a new mouth... I can't wait to see her face when she opens them."

"I didn't think Miss Hilton could consume all those painkillers at once, but wow! Paracetomol!"

"Whats the difference between a zit and a priest? (My 17 year old camper just said this, made me cringe) A zit waits till you're a teenager to come on your face."

"When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower gets turned on."

"What do the mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of tongue, and you're in deep shit."

"I wouldn't recommend eating German sausage... It's the wurst!"

"A man goes to the doctor... and he says, ""Doc, my eye hurts when I drink coffee."" Doctor says, ""Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup first?"""

"News: IKEA pledges 1 billion euros to help slow climate change. But knowing IKEA, it will take forever to put the money together."

"A sad man walks into a Coca-Cola carbonation factory... But he leaves because it was just soda pressing."

"Why did that animal's wife get a divorce? Because he was a cheetah."