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Joke of the Day

"I just bought my wife some new eyes, a new nose and a new mouth... I can't wait to see her face when she opens them."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?"

"My handicapped girlfriend claimed she could arouse me at any moment but it's hard when she can't move an inch"

"[Alien monster is levelling Toronto] CANADAMAN: Excuse me, sir, SIR, could you stop please? SIR?"

"ENTER PASSWORD password YOUR PASSWORD IS TOO LITERAL PLEASE TRY AGAIN again ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW"

"What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ? Winnie the Pooh !"

"Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan."

"There was once a cowboy who walked into town wearing nothing but leaves. He was arrested for rustling."

"Haegel, Nietzsche and Aristotle walk into a bar... Why?"

"Breaking News!: Two teens cut cocks off while high on meth. Back in my day we did not need meth. We would just cut our cocks off."