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Joke of the Day

"Fatboy Slim announced that he's releasing a monthly cookie delivery service It's called 'Snack My Bitch Up.'"

"How big was osama bin Laden's hard drive? One terrorbyte."

"Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers."

"Oscar Pistorius is soon getting out of jail. 10 months without sex, you should hide, ladies. But for the love of God, not in the bathroom."

"If I give my dog a toy that doesn't make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life."

"What gets wetter the more you dry? A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors?)"

"Did you here about the priest? He broke his organ on a hymn"

"What's the difference between your mother and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when I slap it"

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

"Just turned wine into vomit. Your move Jesus."