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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the Mayans just make a calendar full of naked women like everybody else?"

"Why Kobe's Still Married Kobe: What do you want for your birthday this year? Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring."

"Did you hear bout that mafia goon who crossdressed as a female servant? He was a maid man."

"What kind of ship never sinks? A dictatorship. *sobs*"

"I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed."

"How do you explain this gap in your resume? ""I was in jail."" Okay. Sure you weren't working for Trump's campaign? ""Swear to God. Jail."""

"Donald Trump has done so much good for American education. Now instead of citing my sources on an English paper, I can just write down, ""I know it, you know it, everybody knows it."""

"Why do Gnomes always laugh when the run? Because the grass tickles their balls!"

"My doctor told me I'm artistic. I have no idea how he could tell."