199587

Joke of the Day

"What does Jesus do with all the money he gets from church tithings? Jesus saves."

"What do you call an illegal wristwatch trade? A wrist-ky buisness."

"A small boy got lost at a baseball game... He went up to a police officer and said: ""I've lost my dad."" ""What's he like?"" asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, ""Beer and women."""

"At my 16th birthday party, 1 guy came as a bunch of balloons, another as an untouched table of snacks & another came as an empty church hall"

"if u see someone chewing gum in the morning, it's 100% bc they didn't brush their teeth. they're nasty as hell n not worthy of ur respect"

"What do you call a black Sasquatch? ...Nigfoot"

"Nothing says you married into the wrong damn family like your mother in-law crashing your honeymoon."

"Watson returns from work one day... and finds Sherlock in bed with a very young girl. ""Christ, Sherlock! How old is this girl?"" ""Elementary, my dear Watson."""

"Talk Like A Pirate Day Here's my impersonation of a pirate: *ahem* Look at me. Look at me. I'm the captain now."

"If there was a mathematical equation to describe social justice warriors... It would be a really nice log. An ideal log."