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Joke of the Day

"Talk Like A Pirate Day Here's my impersonation of a pirate: *ahem* Look at me. Look at me. I'm the captain now."

"league of legends joke I think I'm better than faker lolll - alex"

"Naming your child ""Roger"" is fine, until you have to tell someone about it over a two-way radio."

"Sometimes I need what only some people can provide: Their absence."

"a serial killer that targets anyone who pronounces the ""S"" in Illinois"

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. EDIT: LADDER. I MEANT LADDER."

"Me: Things are going well. *knocks on wood* 5-year-old: Who's there? Me: It's not a knock knock joke. 5: It's not a knock knock joke who?"

"Mother: Fred why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake."

"I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk"

"Imagine me with poor grammar. Wrong. Worser."