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Joke of the Day

"When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this."

"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? step on her books with golf shoes"

"TIL Calaway's Law states that ""the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."" Now we wait."

"One time a girl tried sleeping with me for adderall... She was a total attention whore."

"I asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. She shyly said yes.... so I took her cardboard box and left."

"I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing. Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts..."

"What is called a honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone with no dressing."

"Why did the tiger get lost in the jungle? Because the jungle is massive!"

"What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets"

"And that, Romeo, is why we usually try to take a pulse first."